Supernatural Aid: Medicine Bag Scavenger Hunt Reflection

March 22nd, 2009

When givent the supernatural aid scavenger hunt assignment, I was reeeealllyyy excited. Not only did we get a day out of class but we got to walk around hahaha. I also loved the idea of the assignment, which was to find 5 objects that represent qualities that you need more of and the “medicines” that will help you along in your supernatural journey through the belly of the whale. However, once reading the directions, I had trouble deciding what qualities I needed. Honestly, I felt like I needed ALL of them; not just five. I knew we could pick more than five, but I decided that I would just reflect on the first 5 that I found and that this way, destiny would have a bit of a chance to intervene. I also liked the number symbolism for 5 listed in our packet the most and felt like it applied to me most. This was my way of opening myself up to possibility. I began this by just asking about the ones whose clues were easiest for me to understand. I figured that the clues that were easiest for me to understand would also tell me more about myself.

The ones I found were

Heart

Patience

Wisdom

Integrity

Joy

Humility

I have not yet decided what these mean to me… But I hope that I will find out as I continue my journey. Im very thankful that we had the chance to participate in this activity…Good reflection and getting out of the classroom is always ok with me :)

 

in loving memory..

March 8th, 2009

  Lucky as a puppy, before his right ear had turned brown

 

Sat day morning I woke up at 6:30, like usual, to get ready for soccer and violin. However when I woke up I looked to the floor in my room for my boxer, Lucky, and he wasn’t there. A little nervous (hes usually the one that gets me up in the first place) I walked around the house looking for him. I found my other three dogs but not Lucky. Feeling very frightened, I noticed our frond door was ajar. Lucky is very adept when it comes to opening doors, and it wouldn’t be the first time he’s walked out of our front door when someone doesnt latch it all the way. So I walked outside calling him. He didn’t come. That’s when I realized that something was very wrong. I went into my mom’s room to see if she would drive me around to look for him, but she wasn’t there either. This made me relax a little; obviously mom had taken Lucky somewhere (she always forgets about their vet appts). I decided to call her and make sure everything was okay and that Lucky wasn’t hurt (our dogs get into bad fights sometimes). I called and she didn’t answer. I still wasn’t too worried though (she could be talking to the vet). So I jumped in the shower, scrambling so I wouldn’t be late. When I got out I heard my mom come in the front door and waited for Lucky to run and find me, jumping and wiggling and wagging his tail. After a moment I walked out to my mom and asked where Lucky was. She started crying. She said that she put him to sleep. All I could think is why???? He was young and healthy and a GREAT dog. WHY???!!!

Well Lucky came to us from two previous owners that we know of. We took him from a neighbor of my brother’s who lives in a not-so-good area. Dog fights are very common in the neighborhood and there have been many raids. My brother had suspected that his neighbor was participating in these activities and inquired about the white boxer they kept in a cage for more than 12 hours at a time. The neighbor said the dog wasn’t good enough to fight and they didn’t know what to do with him… So he sat in his cage. My brother himself couldn’t take the dog and finally convinced my parents to take him for awhile, ‘just until the rescue could take him’. However when David brought him over I adored him from the start. I named him lucky the second day we had him even though my parent’s told me not to get too attatched. It was funny that they even said that because Lucky was a very positive dog. He had SOOOOO much energy, a trait of the boxer breed, and required long runs and constant attention to be manageable. I soon fell into the routine of caring for him and we became very attached to each other. I was overjoyed when my parents decided that we could keep him. However the longer we had Lucky, the more we realized that his energy was not expendable. He was constantly bouncing off the walls and had a very hard time calming down. He listened as best he could, but if you told him to sit you could expect him to lower himself enough to touch the floor and then jump straight into the air to bump your face with his head. After a few months we noticed that it seemed even harder for Lucky to behave and that we really couldn’t control him anymore. We tried classes but eventually asked our vet for advice. The vet put Lucky on some medication that would calm him down. I didn’t like the idea of a medicated dog at all, but I soon realized that Lucky seemed more content with the medication to help him settle himself. He still had enourmous amounts of energy, but now he could calm himself down enough to listen to us and obey. However, dogs are not like people and when on medication for longer periods of time than a few months, they build up a resistance. As such, we were instructed to attempt to ween Lucky off the meds and try teach him how to contain himself. This was a huge effort and very difficult. It was hard to play with Lucky because he would play tug and just not stop. When you were ready to stop he just wouldn’t. On bad days he would jump on you, knock you down, and proceed to nibble and lightly bite you. This was a bad habit that we tried to break him of. However, more recently he had been progressing to larger biting, and hold your arm firmly in his mouth. Never enough to break skin, but enough to cause a little pain. He wasn’t being malicious–he really couldn’t help it and his tail would wag the whole time. He thought that you were playing with him. The only way that he would stop was if my other dog, Nico, would step in and redirect his attentions. They would play together for hours on end in this situation. Finally Lucky would be too worn out and fall asleep in my room on his dog bed.

This Sat morning, my mom had let all of the dogs out in the morning because Lucky had woken everyone up after opening my door and getting the other dogs excited. She called the other dogs in and went to play ball with Lucky in the usual attempt to wear him out a little. However, Lucky got even more excited than usual and knocked my mom down. Unfortunately, Nico was inside and not available to step in. Although Lucky is a handful, no one in our family had ever been afraid of him. This Sat morning, however, my mom was afraid. She couldn’t get him to calm down and he firmly had her arm. After a long time of wrestling with him and having him get agitated she was really scared. Luckily, Nico seemed to sense something and managed to open our front door to help my mom. When Lucky’s attentions were diverted, She called the vet who told her that he needed to be put down. My mom took him, not wanting to tell me because she knew I wouldn’t let her.

After Lucky’s death, the vet examined the chemical levels in his brain as part of a study on puppy mills and inbreeding. Sure enough, Lucky had the characteristic chemical inbalances of severly inbred fighting dogs. Lucky couldn’t help it, but he had the potential to be completely out of control. When Lucky was Lucky, he was the perfect dog. But when that switch went off to the point where you couldn’t call him back he was unpredictable. Its really hard for me to accept the fact that he had to be put down, but I guess I don’t have a choice. However, I can’t even express my hatred for the kind of people that do this to animals. Massly inbred dogs have very sever bipolor disorder, behavioral disorder, and chemical inbalances that can cause unpredictable behavior. Most of these traits cannot be maneaged; classes cannot help. The only way to deal with them is to keep them on medication which you simply cannot do. Thus these dogs, however wonderful they may be when in their right minds, can be very dangerous. And people made them that way.

The Ultimate Awesomness of Ariel and Lauren.

February 6th, 2009

Have you met the two most amazing people on the earth????

I HAVE. Ariel Wong and Lauren Schommer are two pretty amazing girls. (Although Danielle Monn gives these super twins a run for their money)

Born right here in the glorious Hoosier state, Ariel Wong is a true testament to the Melting Pot theory. Ariel’s mother, Christine Cheng, is originally from Taiwan. As a result of this diverse upbringing, Ariel values qualities such as frugality, discipline, and hard work.

Yet another example of the American Dream, lies within the family tree of Lauren Schommer. Lauren is a part of the third generation of her family who immigrated to the United States from Mexico on her dad’s side, and part of the third who immigrated to the U.S. from Italy on her mom’s side. Lauren values her family and friends as large influences on her life.

However, diverse backrounds alone are not what make these power women special. Both girls participate in numerous extracurriculars such as model un, swimming, step team, dance team, photography, interprative dance, teaching piano, ballroom dancing, and volleyball. With their busy schedules, superior grades, and endearing personalities they serve as models that the rest of us can only hope to emmulate.

 

Ultimate 80s

January 29th, 2009

spring break fever

January 26th, 2009

After the long (but not long enough) winter break, I’ve turned my eyes towards my next motivation to get through this semester– Spring Break. Originally my family decided that we wouldn’t take our annual trip to Anna Maria Island because my Uncle Danny was schedueld to have heart surgery. However, his surgery was moved up, and the trip is back on (yay). Since then, I find myself daydreaming of island sunsets and breezy summer nights…

So what is my natural response to cope with these thoughts??? Why wardrobe planning of course. Normally I save this kind of insanity for weekends when I’m grounded or when I’m just incredibly bored and don’t feel like doing anything else. After a few evenings of random googling I’ve decided on a palate, which is the first foundation of a good wardrobe. If you settle on a color scheme in advance, you won’t waste money buying tops that only match one pair of jeans you have or picking out a dress that you have no shoes for. Settling on a color palate for a season ensures that you will always look put together, no matter what you pick out of your closet.

This season I’m going with an island sunset theme… lots of colors :)

silver lining???

January 18th, 2009

so… i’ve recently been attempting to look at the more positive aspects of life in an attempt to cut down my stress levels. so far it hasn’t been that difficult, like anything else it’s just a matter of practice and repetition to train your psych to automatically find something to smile about. however, this weekend i was faced with a rather large challenge and am finding it very difficult to smile right now. the only way i can find of dealing with this situation is laughing at how dumb i can be… as many of you know i have been in two accidents since getting my license last year. i know what you’re thinking, two accidents is bordering on excessive but might be forgivable. or at least that’s what i told myself. my first accident was literally within a month of getting my license. i was making a lefthand turn on 96th street across 4 lanes of traffic from a crossroad that did not have a stop light. i pulled in front of a dump truck and totalled my car. since i wasnt hurt at all, ive managed to laugh a little and realize how stupid that sounds. i definately could have taken another way home or at least picked a cross street with a stop light. after that accident i learned to not attempt left hand turns without a stop light during rush hour. my second accident was rather unique. i was driving to the place i do community service when, going through an intersection on a green light, a car who was presumably anticipating his light or trying to time it, ran the light and t-boned me on the passenger side. this accident did not total my car, thankfully, and just crushed the passenger side of my car. i wasn’t hurt, just very frazzled, and was able to continue driving. anyway, the accident was unique because my family believes that i was hit by someone attempting some sort of insurance scam. the mans behavior afterwards as he tried to tell me that I WAS THE ONE WHO RAN THE LIGHT though HE RAN THE LIGHT accompanied by a mysterious witness whom no one else saw near the scene, his lawyer arriving on the scene within minutes though it was only property damage, and finally a collision repair man who happened to be married to his lawyer that was also on scene within the hour, has seemed suspicious from the start. luckily, there was a camera on the street corner because of a nearby bank building. so, we didn’t think we had anything to worry about. to be safe, we did track down two supporting witnesses who agreed to testify on my behalf and left it at that, sure that this mess would be cleared up. this brings me to this weekend, when i was involved in yet a THIRD accident. driving to soccer practice which was temporarily moved to a different location, i was turning on a cross street from german church. again it was a lefthand turn. again i pulled out in front of an oncoming car. you think i would have learned. to make matters worse i don’t remember anything. after suffering my second concussion, i just cannot remember what happened. i blacked out when my airbags went off and was very confused. luckily, there was an undercover cop at the intersection and yet another policeman on scene when it happened. they were able to re-route traffic and call a tow within minutes. the bad thing is, they did not recognize that i needed medical attention, they did not call my parents, and they did not make sure that i was safe or that i made it home. In fact, they told the tow truck driver to take me to a nearby gas station and to have my dad pick me up there. They did not take a statement, they did not tell me where my car was being taken, they did not speak to my parents. This really is not good; thankfully my parents recognized that i needed medical attention and took me to the emergency room to deal with the concussion, a few scrapes and bruises, and my thumb which was smashed by the airbag. so, right now, im dealing with the delayed effects of sever whiplash (i feel like the suv ran over me and not just my car) and my pulsing thumb. i will not be driving for a long time, as much because i am apparantly inept as because my insurance is through the roof. my parents insurance may be cancelled. i have a lot of commitments i am responsible for which interfere with my working parents’ schedules. somehow, i have to get to soccer mondays, wednesdays, saturdays, and sundays. i have to get to sat class on tuesdays. i have to get to community service on thursdays. and my social life? gone. really as i deserve… my parents have been really good about the whole thing, making sure that i’m taken care of, staying with me while i was in the hospital, not yelling at me or telling me how dissappointed they are… but i feel terrible. i can’t believe this has happened and it frustrates me that i can’t remember the accident other than afterwards when i was sitting in my car. to make matters worse, we were notified that my second accident has been ruled 70% my fault. this result is due to the fact that the court decided that our witnesses, walking on the street, were not able to see the light as clearly as the other driver’s witness whom he says was sitting in a parked car near the intersection. and the camera on the corner? yeah the bank was experienceing technical difficulties that day… so we have to sit with the decision and there’s nothing we can do about it. we have to pay for 70% of the man’s damages (a bent bumper and flat tire) and somehow those damages are about $4000. the man has no evidence of a wrech on his car other than those minor damages, and i have been driving a car whose passenger doors will not open at all and will not close properly for over 2 months. the only silver lining i can find is that i did not physically injure anyone but myself in my terrible driving experiences. i really don’t know if i would be able to face myself if i had seriously hurt someone else :(  

ps i miss my car more than i miss driving!

Balloon Activity

January 11th, 2009

The balloon activity we did as a class really made me think… Before we even thought about breaking the balloon to find the gem we had to reflect on this hero journey we’re studying. After spending some time pondering this, I believe that I am a hero of sorts… Or at the least I very much want to believe I am, and I have a deep need to believe that I have potential–that I am a gift to the world. Thinking about The Call, I don’t think that I have been called yet. Right now I like to think that I am entering a stage in life where I will be ready to receive a call. Closing in on that last year of high school, taking the SATs, visiting colleges… It all stinks of change, of passing time. I feel like I am watching my childhood tick away one minute at a time. While I am nostalgic, I am excited. I am ready to be called, ready to begin my own life, ready for new challenges. Expanding on this, I desperately need to be called. I guess there is the possibility that I have already been called and do not recognize it… But I doubt it. So many of my peers seem to have a definite idea of the path they want to follow… So and so wants to be a doctor; but not just a doctor a cardiac surgeon, or a pediatrician. And so and so wants to be a marine biologist and another person wants to go into international government, or open a health food store. And I… I have no idea. I know what I like to do; paint, read, write, run, talk, decorate, put outfits together… But I don’t know how to translate these interests into my adult life. I like these things but am I good enough? Will I be successful? And these interests are generic…how can I think that I have something special? That I can contribute to this vast world? What about service? How can I help people? This brings me to what The Call means to me. I kind of picture The Call as this brightly wrapped present waiting to be opened. I believe The Call is the call to get some of these questions answered, to open the present and live. To begin the quest to find out what I am supposed to be doing… Because right now I just know that this isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing. I can feel it every time I wake up to go to school… I enjoy school but there’s an urgency to finish, to move forward. Sometimes I think that the only reason I even get through a day is because of moments of “rightness” when I find time to do things I enjoy; like play soccer, read a book, finish an interesting homework assignment, listen to a new song. So I hope that I am a hero, that I receive a Call and find some meaning to my existence. All of this considered, I broke my balloon and found my gem. I hope this is symbolic of my Call.

Destiny

September 28th, 2008

I don’t think I believe in the concept of destiny…I don’t think that every person is given a preconcieved plan for their life. I do think that we each have a purpose; but I believe that the purpose we have is determined by our desires and the ways that we live our lives. This means that our purpose is always changing–always evolving with the choices and decisions that make up our lives.

If given my destiny in an envelope I would not open it. I have no desire to see what someone else believes the purpose for my life is, and even if the purpose is correct and even if I’m wrong in my beliefs and there is a destiny for each of us, I wouldn’t want to know mine. I would want to know that every choice I made was unbiased except for the circumstances which lead me to make that decision. I guess there would be benefit in knowing your destiny because then you wouldn’t waste time denying it–since it would be inevitable you could except it and learn to embrace it. However I feel that if there is such a thing as destiny, since I am not inclined to believe in it, it would be a necessary part of my life-journey to deny it. I do not see the point of my life as to find and then achieve my destiny, rather I think the point of my life is to discover the point of my life. Along the way I want to help as many people as I can and try to make the world a better place while enjoying my time on earth.

Immediate Reaction:

My immediate reaction was definately disappointment. I think that with so much invested in my through my education and my upbringing by my parents, success is something that has become a familiar goal to work towards. To find out that I will never find the success or wealth that I currently strive for is disheartening because I don’t even know quite what success I work towards. I know that I strive for success with grades, relationships, soccer, and a number of things. To think that I will never succeed in any of these things is bad enough, but then to imagine never succeeding with a job, maybe a marriage, or even raising children is almost unbearable. The notion that I will never know wealth is not so bad because there are countless examples of people that are both successful and happy without wealth. Yet because I will never know success, it’s hard to deal with it because now I don’t even have the possiblility of financial security to look forward to. However, knowing this destiny–true or false–I do not think that I would change the way I am living, rather I would continue to make sense of my life and trust in the hope that no matter what I would be okay.

Mandala Reflection

September 19th, 2008

my mandalaYou know I really liked the mandala activity; I thought it was very relaxing to just concentrate on something completely separate from the stressed of daily life…We weren’t keeping it so there wasn’t any pressure to make a something “good” that we wouldn’t be embarrassed of. It enabled me to just concentrate on the joy of creating it.

I think my mandala demonstrates different aspects of my personality; the white half-moon part of the mandala seems to reflect the part of me that wants to be the best—the purest. That part of the mandala is sprinkled with purple which suggests royalty and mysticism…This represents the way that I wish that I was and the “magic” I halfway desire in my life. The primarily blue background displays my emotions as I was creating the mandala. I was relaxed and calm and feeling very introspective. The green veins throughout the image in the mandala represent my humanism and one with the world. It also reminds me of my relationship with God and seems fairly constant within the mandala. In the bottom, there is more red which mirrors the intensity that increases within the mandala. This part represents my emotions at their peak; when I am most passionate. Finally, there are five blob things in the bottom that signify natural wholeness, one with the real world, health, and love.

new school rules

September 4th, 2008

I was just about to pick out what clothes I needed to wash for tomorrow when I, once again, remembered the new limitations on dress code. I won’t go so far as to say that all of the new rules are unwarranted; there has definately been some abuse of the dress code, but the shoulder thing really just makes me angry. Not necessarily because of the rule itself, bad as it is, but because of the reasoning behind it. If the dean had described the abuse of the “thick strap” rule or had said that this was the easiest way to regulate that or something along those lines, I would have understood. But the whole deal about exposed shoulders resulting in cleavage is ridiculous… I wonder if the deans have seen turtleneck sweater tanks. Obviously a turtle neck would cover your chest and yet it still exposes the shoulders… And this is all so very ironic since the airconditioning on the main floor is apparantly caboot. Just when you most want to take off your sweater, you can’t. But really it’s not just this rule that bothers me. Most of the material in the class meeting grated on my nerves… I won’t go into anymore specifics because we were all there, but after the first few minutes I had to just roll my eyes and try not to listen in order to control myself. I’m willing to guess that this is not the effect the administration was hoping to have on students–I wonder if they will do more “revising” throughout this semester…